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GORDON MOSS,”THE WORLD’S GREATEST NETWORKER”‘ OPENS DAYCARE CENTER

United States of America (Press Release) December 31, 2007 — Gordon Moss, A.K.A. “The World’s Greatest Networker”, has opened a new daycare center in West Bloomfield. Moss stated,” The fees are nominal and the care is excellent”.
The Networker was looking to make money in something other than networking and thought daycare was the business to start. “People are always having sex and kids, so why not capitalize on it”, Moss said. The World’s Greatest Networker added,” If one of these little fuckers puke or shit on any of my new boots, IT’S OVER!”.

New World Record Set by The World’s Greatest Networker, Gordon Moss

United States of America (Press Release) August 20, 2007 — Gordon Moss, AKA The World’s Greatest Networker, Set a new world record yesterday. The record, previously held by Sven Jorgensen, was recorded yesterday by officials from the Guinness Book yesterday.

Moss ate nothing but sardines in mustard sauce for 1135 straigt days without fault.

The World’s Greatest Networker told Channel 9 news that it was by accident he broke the record.” My neighbor lady gave me the coupons for the sardines. I really don’t like them but they do keep me regular. Really, I can shit through a screen door” Moss stated.

It was noted that yesterday Moss received shipment of 2000 boxes of Kraft macaroni and cheese dinners. Could another record be set? More to come!

GORDON MOSS, THE WORLD’S GREATEST NETWORKER, GOES OUTSIDE!!

Gordon Moss, The World’s Greatest Networker, took an unexpected journey outside of his West Bloomfield fortress this morning for the first time in over 1200 days.

Network marketers from all over the country lined the streets in front of the mansion to get a glimpse of the world’s greatest networker as he emerged. With the exception of the Meals On Wheels guy, it was the first time Moss was seen by anyone in almost 4 years.

One spectator said,”The door opened really slowly and we saw a couple of bats fly out. Then we saw Moss come out. It was kind of hard to tell if it was Gordon Moss because he had what seemed to be gallons of SPF 200 slathered all over his body” What happened next is a mystery.

Moss came out and apparently saw his shadow. He turned and ran back inside screaming “It’s really blue…It’s really blue!!” No one knows if he was screaming about his shadow or the sky, but it
is expected that we will now have six more weeks of summer.